.my.online.diary.

hehehehee

2006-10-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

23rd October 2006

Seloka Hari Raya

Indahnya sungguh di hari raya

Ramainya orang bersuka ria

Adikku manis cantik bergaya

Bolehkah abang ikut bersama

Usahlah abang membuang waktu

Mari menuju ke rumah bonda

Sanak saudara sedang menunggu

Di hari mulia bertemu mesra

Katamu itu abang mengerti

Kusanjung budi puteri ibunda

Pada yang tua kita hormati

Barulah hidup saling bahagia

Miskin dan kaya sama sahaja

Hulurkan tangan berjabat mesra

Saling bermaaf kita bersama

Lupakan saja sengketa lama

Pulanglah

( ...SayangDi hari yang mulia iniKu pohon keampunanHanya satu yang ku pintaPulanglah... )

Termenung ku sendiri

Memendam rindu tidak menentu

Kasih suci murni yang kita bina

Hapus hancur oleh kata fitnah

Di pagi hari raya

Hati sayu mengenang dirimu

Mudahnya kau menggantikan diriku

Seolah cintaku tak berharga

Apakah suratan

Aidilfitri satu titik akhir

Sekian lama bercinta

Kau tiada di hari mulia

Keampunan ku pohon

Sekiranya aku yang berdosa

Pulanglah ku merindui mu sayang

Ku menanti dengan hati rela ( jiwa raga )

Pulanglah kepangkuan ku oh... sayang

Ku menunggu mu di hari raya

*lovelove*

Hari Raya Eve...

2006-10-22T21:57:00.000-07:00

23rd October 2006

ok..raya eve..yey yey!! bsok raya!!!..ahahaa..seronok nya!!..exam pun nak dekat!!..ala, exam letak tepi dulu ah!..k, yesterday, aku dah lap bilik aku!..yey!!..dah leh feeling rayer sikit noh!..haha..a while more i'm suppose to go study kat apek giler with the gerls..tapi aku lum mandi!! ahahahaa...sowie gerls..bangun tdo jer i called my baby..sesaja nak dngr suara dia..hehe..nanti sebulan tak dngr ouh!!..ahaha..then terus my mum asked me to dye her hair..ok, tu considered done lah ehh..;) k then jus now my mum asked me to go geylang tonite?!..i'm like wat?..first time nie she allow me to go out on mlm rayer!!..WEIRD!! but whatever..fart mcm dah hinting nie nak gi geylang ke tak...hmm, my mum suruh ikot my bro go geylang!! hmm, my baby goin geylang tonite oso..hmm, skrg aku tak tahu if i wan to go geylang or not uh..hehe..takper, now its 1pm..still got abt 4hrs to decide..haha..cock up uh!! i shall ask my bro wat r his plan for tonite ey..ehehehe...*evil laughter*...

ouh ya, yesterday i baked a cake! KEK BADAM OREN. SEdAP giler uh BEB!!!!..two-thumbs up for me baby!!..kene raser tau kawan2!!..hehee..

ouh ya, on saturday, ibrahim met wif an accident again!!..for the 3rd time in a month!!...tak sayang nyawa betul uhh ini mat!..bang down by a car..brought to NUH..alhamdullilah he's ok..but he mite have a query fracture..have to go for a second x-ray to confirm..SADD..dah nak kat raya gini...haizzz..kesian lak aku kat dia tu..motor aru bikin..cost him abt RM400 in all..dah terok alik sey...takper lah, hope everything will be ok for him..insya'allah...he really wanted to meet me yesterday..but he's sick..mum doesnt allow him to go out..so, i advise him just to stay at home jer lah..penatkan n sakitkan diri jer jumpa aku!..nanti infection aru tahu!..haizz..i will visit him one day...when i'm free..insya'allah...:)

ok lah, i gtg alrdy uh..have to study!...have to study!!..hahahhaha...ok then...SELAMAT BERBUKA PUASA wahai kengkawan!..last day puasa nie..raser lah kenikmatannya sebelum Syawal tiba...;)

missing you a lot bach....:)

PSI reading at this hour, 1pm : 64

*lovelove*

Bored...

2006-10-19T20:47:00.000-07:00

20th october....

i have one hr of break..dont feel like studying..even though my exams are next week..panic dlm diam..haha..k watever..ouhh! gez wat?? in my sch library skrg dah ader cafe!! happening shit ehh my sch!..my dear NYP..haha..yelah..aku dah nak graduate baru benda2 nie semua nak timbul!..so unfair!..n to make things mcm WOW gitu kan..the cafe sells the same exact cookies sold at my workplace!! SPINELLI COFFEE COMPANY!!!..i think they order the cookies from the same supplier! how cool??!!..k now, i dont have to go all the way to my workplace kat cthall to get my oatmeal raisins cookie!..tapi kat sch jual mahal sikit!..ala whatever!..:)

k, i'm bored...let's talk about the weather today..20th october 2006..hmmm, HAZY giler!!!...the last time i check the PSI reading was 101..haizz..mati berdebu jugak SINGAPOREAN nie semua yer..haha..just hope that on hari raya day itself it will be better..*smiles*

k, my hari raya preparation..tak happening langsong!!...clash ngan my exams sia!..1st paper is on the 4th day of raya!!..ada ke patot?!!..haizz!..my bilik lum kemas,masih berdebu mcm haze kat luar tu!..buku sch all over my study table..! tak senonoh uh kau yani!..i didnt even help out my mum in making hari raya cookies sey tis year..SADDD...takpe, at least i noe i'm baking cakes for raya..hehhe...leh feeling2 raya sikit...haha..baju raya dah ader...color lilac gitu..ok lah..a bit of the excitement is there..hehe..

ok, btw, niari bday si AZEANNA....21 yrs old...saja nak blg...no heart feelings ey..!!! ;)

ok, to all the HINDUS...I would like to wish u guys out there......
HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!...ENJOY........!!!!!
aku lak yg seronok ehh...hahaha...!

k lah, SELAMAT BERBUKA SEMUA........!

gtg for lect now!!....BYE!!!

*lovelove*

EROGENOUS ZONES

2006-10-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zones may be genital and non-genital. Female body has a greater variety of erogenous zones, compared to male one. In the context of this book it is important to examine this issue in conjunction with problems of sexual psychology.
One may often get to hear from men who consider themselves “experienced” that “women are all alike”. But in reality, only a primitive egocentric person could say a thing like this. The truth is that it is hard to find two women who would be similar from the sexual standpoint. But only that person has a chance to get to know this who seeks not pleasures for himself in his sexual relationships, but an opportunity to please his female partner, to make her happy and full of harmony.
Women are not alike in terms of forms of petting that are adequate for them.
They also are not alike in terms of the kind of a sexual intercourse that can provide the most intense pleasure and satisfaction for them. And this depends on which genital erogenous zone prevails in the particular woman’s case.
For example, in some women clitoris is the most sensitive erogenous zone, which makes them unable to attain satisfaction as a result of sexual intercourse performed in that “original”, vulgar form that is typical to men who just begin their sex life. But it is possible to reach a high level of harmony with such women if during the sexual contact (in various forms) one makes light transversal strokes of the clitoris by hand.
Other women have a pronounced erectile tissue and an erogenous front vaginal wall under the pubic bone — for such women only quite specific methods of sexual interaction will be adequate.
Also, one can distinguish several groups of women whose predominant genital erogenous zones are either the deepmost part of vagina, or cervix of the uterus, or middle part of the front wall of the vagina, or its opening, or all of its walls.
There is also a great variety of non-genital erogenous zones, such as breasts, skin of the face, the back, the buttocks, the earlobes, and so on. Some women are able to reach orgasm just as a result of a prolonged and tender touching, for example, of their nipples. Still others can totally lack any increased sensitivity of these parts of the body.
Sometimes there are deviations of erogeneity of certain zones — in these cases touching them makes a woman feel uncomfortable or it may even hurt. For example, I knew one woman whose vagina was so overly sensitive that it would hurt whenever any part of it was touched, although gynecologists had never found any inflammatory processes in this area. In case of another woman any contact with the vaginal walls produced unbearable tickling sensations… At the same time she had an extremely erogenous clitoris.
The functioning of the “lubrication” glands that make the vagina ready for sexual intercourse also varies in different women. In some cases these glands work very intensively. But there are women whose vagina remains dry after a very prolonged foreplay or even after the orgasms that resulted from a contact with extravaginal erogenous zones. In cases like these a harmonious sexual intercourse will be possible only if some water-based lubricant is used.
The task of a man is to study his female partner and to fill her with harmony. And only then the harmony for both will be possible.
Learning to seek joy, harmony, and bliss for a partner — this is an opportunity for spiritual self-perfection through sexual aspect of love.

*lovelove*

the birthday boy

2006-10-19T00:34:00.000-07:00

17th october 2006....
heluuu...ok, having three hrs break.. updating agn.. hmm,what shd i update for now??..hmm, ok ok..17th october 2006, went to meet up with aizat, the BIRTHDAY BOY.. he told me that he nvr celebrated his birthday..mcm pelik kan!..k, nvm.. my plan for that day is to mkn somewhere for buka then go fort canning green to so call celebrate uh..akhirnya, inilah yg terjadi on october 17..
went to suntec planning nak mkn siam kitchen..cukup time we mkn swensens..my favourite eating place sey!..hehe..dah mcm matair sey kiter..feeling dia mcm best gitu tau!!..tapi tak lah kan..dah, jgn nak berangan eh yani!..tat explain the jerawat on ur face tau yani!!..haha..then we walked to my workplc to get his b'day cake..and wani's oatmeal cookie..then i heret him to fort canning green..member bingit sey ngan aku cos i heret him all the way there!!..giler uh kau yani!!..then sat there for a while then i surprised him with the cake uh..he's not use to surprises...but too bad, when he's with me..you have to get use to it baby!..then went back home, yg dimana we had a slight tiff while waiting for the cab...haizz..mepek uhh..whatever it is, i hope he enjoyed the date..bday celebration yg amatlah cheapskate..cake pun cake free!..haha..takpe, its the thought that counts yeah baby..haha...hmmm, gtg now..typing this in sch..having lect soon..at 4pm.. so, gtg now.. ouh btw, ibrhim ask me out on a date this sun..ajak buka sesama..nak ke aku pergi...haizz, tengok lah mcm mana yer..kalau tak malas..dunno why si ibrahim tu mcm yer yer nah nak klua ngan aku..whatever lah kan..we'll see how lah..ok ok..gtg now!!...see ya soon.. SELAMAT BERBUKA!!... *lovelove*

loving him even more

2006-10-15T21:49:00.000-07:00

ok, it seems that i only update my entry only in the beginning of the week..
FRi-13oct..
went buka wif my sec frens at changi village..there's me, ruz, fart, shikin, nat, siti, faz aka bonch and khairuz..it was a blast!..i tompang faz, fart tompang nat n shik tompang ruz..siti n khairuz went public..happening sia..kiter reminiscing our sec sch days...then semua colored each other..seronok!..kumpul dosa bnyk2 b4 hari raya comes..haha..we went home at abt 11.30..me, shik n ruz went back to eunos, rumah arwah nenek ruzanna-nek wan..the plan was to study for exam..
SAt-14oct..
started studying at ard 1am in the morning..stop studying at abt 3am in the morning..the whole time i was atudying, aizat keep looking at my face..i got nervous..he lied beside me n just started looking at me..told him to sleep..haizz..he's such a sweetie..whichever gerl who ever captured his heart, she would be the luckiest gerl on earth..after that..ruz decided to watch a black n white movie..a vcd i brought frm home..we watched while sahur-ing..went back to sleep..all of us slept in the guest room..then one thing leads to another..woke up at about 10plus in the morning..he went back home..i started studying again at about 1pm..till abt 4 plus..tried to go to sleep at about 5...manage to sleep for a pathetic 1/2hr only..then i siap to go to geylang to buka..went back hm at abt 8.30pm..started studying at 9pm..then mak long nya ruz came to check on us..scary shit sia!..ok then..continued studying till god noes wad time..malkan popped by...si giler tu main bunga api..seronok dia!..

SuN-15OCt..
then we watched vcd 'ganyut'..afiq bought it..then, we cooked for sahur..then afiq jadi head chef..aizat jadi international food taster...tak pam aku budak2 giler ni semua uh!! hahaha...shik masak mee maggi goreng..two thumbs up for shikin!!!..SEDAP beb!!..haha..then, after sahur..all of us went to sleep..woke up at abt 11 am in the morning..mepek2 til abt 3plus..aru kiter start blaja..hahaha..then, i gaduh ngan aizat..biggest fight soo far!! That moment really pushed me to the limit!..so SADDDDDD... 'What do i really want?' - topic of the argument!.. i cried really bad! GOSH!! didnt thought i could cry tat bad for him sia!!..haizz.. yani.. yani.. GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF!!...he really make me angry!..well actually, dissapointed..hmm, he felt like a bumper??..padahal.. haizz.. tak terkata betapa tergurisnya hatiku ini pabila dia berkata begitu.. or maybe aku je yg tak realise i've been doin tat to him..haizz..tak guna nya engkau yani!.. he said i shattered his heart..not once but a few times!! yani! tak senonoh uh kau!! how can u not think of how the other party feels??..and he said that.. 'it doesnt matter what goes into his heart but what matters is what goes into my heart..'.. ade ke patot dia ckp mcm tu??!..ey, i have to think of how he feels pun aper?!..tul tak kawan2??..haizz..he said he jus want to see me happy..but what if i'm happy wif him??...how like tat??..Stress aku! haiyah! ok..ok..penat uh aku update..he just have to listen!!.. you noe its like... you may love somebody soo much..but it doesnt mean that you have to be with that person do you?... you tried soo hard for soo long that there comes to a point where everything have to stop and let it rest and start to accept whatever that is in front of you..Then make the best out of what's there.. In front of you... *lovelove*

Love.....

2006-10-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

Love

There is some consolation in the fact that even if your dreams haven't come true- neither have your nightmares.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

He holds me when I start to cry, makes me smile with just his eyes, shares my hopes, dreams and fears, wipes away all my tears, I love him without regret, I just haven't found him yet.

One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, loving someone else.

Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back.

You may only be one person to the world but you may also be the world to one person.

There's just something about him that grabs my heart, and makes me hurt that I can't have him.

If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.

I cried today, not because I missed you, or even wanted you, but because I finally relized I'm gonna be alright without you.

Never give up if you still want to try, never wipe your tears if you still want to cry, never settle for the answer if you still want to know, never say you don't like him if you can't let him go.

I'm in love with the one man I can't have and I have the one man I can't love.

Moving too fast is like going over the speed limit, theres a chance you might crash.

I loved you once, you loved me not, I loved you twice, but I forgot, you never loved me, you never will, but even so, I love you still.

I'm gonna smile like nothings wrong, talk like everythings perfect, act like its just a dream, and pretend he's not hurting me.

A break up is like a broken mirror, it is better to leave it broken then hurt yourself trying to fix it back together.

Some day you'll be sorry, some day when memories will remind you, that we were meant to be.

How can I stop crying when the only person that can make me stop is the one who made me start?

I loved you once-I love you still-I always have-I always will.

Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they're right beside you and yet you can't have them.

If you love someone put their name in a circle not a heart, a heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever.

the geylang outing..

2006-10-09T00:11:00.000-07:00

SATURDAY: was working in the morning..ended at 2pm..went back home..went to geylang wif ruz, ju n her fiancee,mas, has n her guy,mansor..hmmm...buka kat tepi jalan in front of a hotel..hahaa..gerek uhh! mcm happaning gitu kan buka tepi jln!..haha..ok, then after buka, we jln kat the diff location of the bazaar kat geylang..saw my cuzz..ruz kecoh..mcm biasa..haha..then went to TKC..n then this was the best part..part yg nak nya korang2 tembak kepala otak aku kan!!...i met up wif aizat!!..AGN!!...hahaha...well, apparently, he was at geylang also..out with some frens...i didnt really want to meet him..(mcm lemak gitu kan meet 3 days in a row!)..tak jelak ke kau yani..tngok muka dia je huh?!!..hahah...tapi apakan daya..he keep calling me asking me where am i..so i jus play along with it uh..then i met him for a short while uh..hahaha..then abt 9plus the geng nak balik..me n ruz didnt want to balik..so we went to coffee bean boat quay to lepak... ruz otak ngah sort over watever stuffs that her mum talked to her abt..otak aku pun ngah sort...so, kiter stress sesama...then the haze that day was the worst for the past 9yrs!! the PSI reading was 140 at 9am in the morning and 130 at 10pm at night!!...giler kan?!!!...ok..i'm typing this in sch..had to go now..cos i'm having my onco presentation really soon..have to make some last min preparation..so, i gtg..updates agn ltr yeah...btw, geylang was great!..despite the bad haze!!...hehheh... *lovelove*

It was unplanned..

2006-10-08T23:46:00.000-07:00

ok..my date with aizat for the starlight cinema was on yesterday,thursday..5th october..then on the friday, 6th october..with our last min plans..as per normal..me, aizat, ruz, afiq, shikin, fart, dee and her bf...we ended up watching starlight cinema together!! the fast and the furious: tokyo drift..the whole geng bang!..yes!..haha..ok, fart has evtra tics and i have 1 extra tic too..initially was to ask ibhrm..but in the end, i ended up having grp date with aizat agn!!..how corrupted?!! at first he didnt want to go for the movie..but dont noe why he decided to go for the movie..ala, moreover his brader was there wat..so, i gez it's ok..haha..it was relly fun thou..after the movie, we walked to bugis where the guys are goin lepak n where ruz parked her bike..she's sent me hm..shik n fart went back hm taking public..me n him had that talk while walking frm cthall to bugis..hmmmm..stress stress stress.. but i dont mind being stress abt him..haha.... *lovelove*

Fly me to the moon....

2006-10-08T23:06:00.000-07:00

ok..where do i want to start..hmm..how abt the starlight cinema event- break up?!!..haha..went with aizat..he took a half day work(sanggup dia?!)..and my sch end at abt 4plus...met up at cthall at abt 5..went to get some food for buka at marina..he ate nasi campor n i ate KFC..hmm,after we bought everything that we need, went to padang and get a nice spot to bentang our mat..we buka puasa at the padang..waited till abt 8.30 till the movie start..ouhh!! n ouh ya, i bought something for his birthday..his b'day falls on the 17th october but i just celebrated it with him earlier cos i jus feel tat the atmosphere was purrrfect..quite romantic though..hehe..i gave him 3cookie frm mrs.field with 'happy birthday aizat' one word written on each cookie..he likes it!..He loves it!..hehe..BLISS!..while watching the movie i caught him staring at me a lot of times!..keep telling him to concentrate on the movie!..but he was still looking at me!..makes me all blushed! hehe..during the movie, he keeps whispering to me that 'tonite is too perfect'..'cant there be anything wrong with tonite?'..i just dont noe what to say or do but to just smile n look into his eyes...(butterflies testing their wings ey?!)..haha..after the movie, i wanted to go to the toilet..so i heret him to walk to fullerton hotel..yes,walk all the way there for the toilet!..haha!..while walking, we crap ard..as per normal..then we sat down in front of the OUB building, by the river..jus enjoying the breeze, view and each other's company..then we have to head home!!..tat's the lousiest part of the whole date..separating!!..we walked thru boat quay..and then we hailed for a cab home..by the time i reached home, it was alrdy 11.45pm..he sent me home till the lift lobby at my level..so sweet!...haizz..i dont noe how i can ever resist him at all!..at nite, after both of us has setteled down, we talked on the fone..we thanked each other for the date..like he said..'it was too perfect'...and yeah.. i agreed.. It was too perfect...scares me a little..haha..he also said that it was the most fun date he had ever been to..to him, this date that we had..it was different... The night which both of us didnt want it to end... and there's the thing that he said that was the sweetest... he said.."You make me forget that i was really sick..." .....only god knows how melted my heart was at that point of time!!..MY GOD!..haha... rating that i would give for this date??... a 91/2 out of 10!!!....hehehe... *lovelove*

sucky sicky week it has been...Blame it on the FLU BUG!

2006-10-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

heloo..ok i've been sick!! started off on satuday after i went to my aunt's plc to break fast..came back home..felt so irritated and cranky..the next day,went to work..had high fever while working..cannot tahan anymore so i jus had stop working and went home at 12pm to rest..it gotten worst on sunday night..i cant sleep at all!!..so terrible..msged aizat at 3am in the morning telling him that i couldnt sleep..so tired!..he stayed awake with me jus so that he could put me to sleep!!..SWEET kan..haizZ..aizat aizat..haha..n of course, i felt asleep lah in the end!..haha..but now, i'm well..jus mild headaches here n there..and u noe wat?!!..aizat is also sick!..so poor thing!..my ohh harmless giant is SICK!..he's having high fever n problems in breathing!..kesian kan! i'm blaming it all on the HAZE!! and also on the FLU BUG!..AArghh!!..i wanna watch STARLIGHT CINEMA U NOE!!..haiyah..why do they have to burn the trees?! ok..for now, i cant do much but to jus pray hard tat the FLU BUG will be gone! GONE! SOON!..I'm having exams real soon u noe!..have pity on me n for the rest of my frens can?.. ok, yesterday, me, wani, yati, surya and arifa..we went out to buka sesama!!...it was soo much fun!!..went to BREEKS cafe @ marina..had our main courses n then our desserts!!..ICE-CREAM!!..COOL..we ate quite a lot and we spent quite a bomb there!..hahhaaha..ala, ramadhan dtg sebulan dalam setahun je aper..haha..it was one of the best outing we had uh..haha ;) ok..
typing tis in sch..have to get home now..i'm soo soo sleepy alrdy!!..gosh! ok..i'll b back agn soon yeah!...SELAMAT BERBUKA PEOPLE....;) *lovelove*

dah maju member...!

2006-09-28T15:14:00.000-07:00

helo helo...k, member dah maju!..skin baru kapa!..haha..ok watever..in sch now..got nothing to do..with 3hrs of break..wadahell?!.. missing my bach like f**k..haizz..when can i ever mit him agn??..haiz..jus wanna talk abt him today..its our 1month of berkenalan neways..hmmm..where should i start..as u noe i met him kat MOS..haha..got closer to him..ok, tis is one thing tat i really wish it could happen..i noe it wont happen uh but its not wrong to dream rite..haha..i just wish tat one day when i see him from far..i could actualy go up to him n hug him n tell him tat i love him..k, tat is so unlikely to happen uh..berangan lah kau yani..hehe..wad i like abt him..hmmm, he's religious(mana mau dpt beb!), he's responsible,mature,emotionally-stable, cute,sweet,funny,caring, and he's HUGE! it jus feel good being ard him u noe..so safe and comforting..aaaahhhhh...jus thinking of him, it makes all my problems go away..best kan!..i jus hope tat tat someone special in his life can make him happy always, cherish him always n tat their r'ship will last..haizz..n my life will be as cock up as ever...still hoping for my prince charming to come into my life...jus let time tell everything and let god decide how my fate will be...for now, i'm enjoying the waves..jus have to prepare myself when it starts to crash..yeah..i have to be strong..that's life..when something bad happen in your life, you jus have to pick urself up, learn from it n move on..when he entered my life, he taught me to smile all over agn..he make me realise abt a lot of things in life, gave me motivation tat i need in my life, i dunno uh..there's soo much abt him tat i want to say abt..but..k senang ckp kan..dia husband-material!..i soo want him..but nvr mind..i guess i jus have to settle for friends..at least i noe i wont lose him as my harmless giant fren!..hehe...soo happy that he happenened in my life...:) didnt regret anything from day one tat i actually got to noe him...Bliss :) *lovelove*

hey....

2006-09-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

helo.................

Heloo people!!

2006-09-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

heloo!!...ok i noe i noe..its been such a long time since i wrote in! neways,lots of happening tat has been going on in my life right now!!..i shall jus give a sub-heading to everything orite..hmmm, ater all the fireworks excitement i had in the month of august.. 1) ibrahim pass his bike TP on the 17august2006. 2)fought with ibrahim cos he keep cancel plans with me! Sucks! 3) after the fight, we didnt really kept in contact for over a period of 3wks or so..and at tat point of my life,i cant be bothered anymore wif ibrahim!..for once i felt FREE!!..haha! BLISS! 4) i pass my car TP with only 12points people!!..on the 29august2006!..how cool!..haha! 5) then it was my one wk break!! 6) went clubbing on tat wednesday wif a group of frens..my gfs n yada yada..then i got to noe tis guy when i went to MOS..named Mohammed Aizat bin Ramli..haha!..he is the Funniest, sweetest, cutest,religious,smartest, hugest(is there such a word??-haha!) guy i've ever met!..he is wearing a size 14 for his shoe! wadehell?!!..7)Aftermath of MOS!!..drew closer to aizat..having the so called happiest moments in my life! after soo long! and at the same time, i was confused over my so called status wif ibrahim n me! Suck! cos he was back in my life agn! he came back into my life with multiple problems that he bombed to me! wad does he think am i?? Hish! he tried to control my life when he is jus a fren to me?!! wat was he thinking people?!..then me n aizat tried to settle things between us cos our feelings are getting deeper by day! GOSH!!..but of course i am still in love wif ibrhim..but i cant do it anymore with him..its been too long and too painful for me to carry on my life with him! i jus need a break from HIM!! Gosh!..8) ok..my first date wif aizat!! haha..it was nice getting to noe him n everything..it was fun..he accompanied me to NSC, then we watched movie,then we sat down at CTE..which he was amazedto the fact that,that plc actually existed!..how cute!..9) i cant take it any longer..i have to tell ibrahim abt aizat..the new guy in my life!..one faithful nite,went out wif him n told him everything..he didnt took it well..he was speechless!..sad!..we tok it out n we still want us to work out..so we've have been trying...still progressing..but i'm not sure about us tis time..haizz..GOD please help me out here..10) ruzanna my darling met wif an accident!!..but luckily it wasnt crucial! suffered some bruises n abrasions..she getting better now..11)had my first hot MO-sessions with AIZAT!..hahaaha..BLISS!..12)ruzanna's grandother passed away 2days b4 ramadan starts i was at cgh to give spport n my shoulder for her to cry on..everything happened so fast for her..i love u ruz...*hugz*...13) ya..btw, ibrahim got a bike alrdy..its RXZ..its black-blue baby..i took aride with him a few times b4..it was fun..hmmm..tats a lot of stuffs that i'm updating...ok, i had to go alrdy..i shall update u agn ok!!..cioaz!..selamat berpuasa!! *lovelove*

tat's me in the drain...

2006-08-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

hey u...its been long since i made an entry..few weeks back??..well,mybe..cant remembr..miss telling u stuffs..ok,the recent updates abt me..fart failed her tp...he passed his on 17/8..called me once he got to know he passed..miss him soo much!!..god help me!..mine, is yet to come..insya'allah...ok, now the thing that really hit me hard over the weekends..on fri, 18/8.. i'm was supposed to have plans with him...but he blew it yet again..and this time,it realy pissed me off..we're supposed to fly kite actually..haiz..i was so freaking depressed and ANGRYY!!..ok, reason being that he had gig in KL..so, i give in uh...then i went to punggol to pass something to him..at the very least,slack lah with me even thou it is only for a few mins...ok lah, my face mcm bingit tngok muka dia..tapi,isnt it natural ppl for me to b angry???...blowing off plan at the last min???..CRAP! but at the same time, i MISS HIM SOOOO BADLYYY!!!!...wat was he thinking??!..ok ok..i was bingit, sad, depressed and ANGRY at the same time!!..cant i be anymore confused ppl??!..and then he jus bingit at me n walk off!..how typical of him! CRAP!! so getting on my nerves ppl!..ok, i'm known to b very penyabar..my tolerence lvl is damn good i tell u tis! but GOD!..he realy pushed my button alrdy!..i dunno if tis IS the limit..haizz.. for now, i'm really tired trying to b strong for him n for myself..i feel tat sometimes he needs me when he is in need for an emotional support..other than tat..there goes me down the drainnnnn.....

:how's my day been:

2006-08-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

hey...today,10/8..how has it been? hmm,in the early morning..it rained heavily. i was asleep actualy. how i knew it was raining?..hmmm, he msged me a good nite msg,telling me that its raining..and said he misses me!!!..at 3am in the freaking morning..i was flying up to the moon by then...hehe..then at 4 plus in the morning, he msged me again telling me that he did something bad to our primary sch fren..n he felt bad doin it..i guess he threw all his frustration n anger to his fren..so SAD...! my my...well, wat can i say, he's goin thru depression right now.. i pity him a lot...someone soo young but having a lot of problems..everyday, he's emotionally, mentally and physically challenged...so SAD...! and i cant bear letting him thru all of it by himself...he needs someone there to listen to him..to talk to him..i may not be able to help much..but giving him the motivation, moral and emotional support is the best thing tat i could give to him right now..i wish i could do more...i wish...
despite all that, he did not put me out of his problem..at least he tells me stuff abt wat he's goin thru in his life now...well, i like it when he does that..he includes me..thank u darling...
for now, i'll just pray n hope that everything will b ok for him, for us... insya'allah...
Just remember that there'll always be someone behind you for you to count on....
Whatever it is... I'll always love you my dear... take care...*hugz*
Other than all tat, finally, today i sent my kain to make for my baju raya!!...i've been delaying it frm day to day..cant find any time..busy schling n working...went to sch to do some research for my project and then to work..my daddy-o pick me up frm work..how sweet of him. love him soo much!! hmmm, its been a long long day for me...it'll be the same for tmr..haizz..have to wake up at 6am in the morning tmr..i wonder if i could even wake up!..neways, i hope to watch the fireworks again tmr at esplanade...hope i could watch it with him..wish me luck ppl..well, that's it then ppl.. gtg now.. good nitez! *muackzz!*

::how's my PH has been::

2006-08-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

ok ppl...i'm back! hmm,on tuesday nite..finally, i got 'kakis' to watch the fireworks with..went to watch with my geng..finally the four of us together again..but not forgetting malkan, afiq and hakim..the ppl who nvr fails to make me laugh with their stupid, lame jokes!!..haha..got back hm at 12am..the bus ride home was super-packed!! if we were to be sardines, there wouldnt be any spaces to even put the sauce in our cans!.GOSH!..besides all that, it was also our emo-fucker nite..everyone of us was thinking of their loved ones..reminiscing back on old times and stuffs..a few ppl cried on tat nite too..well, that includes me! yes...fallin in and out of love..hmmm, so SAD..ok, ok, back to the fireworks ppl! OMG! it's like WOW!!!..LAWA giler beb!!..its like as if there's meteor showers pouring on us!..haha..we went to the marina promenade area to watch it..from where we were, we got like the perfect view of all!..thanks to malkan..the 'nyah' for the nite..:p k, watever it is, i am so gonna watch it again with whoever yg sudi to watch more and more fireworks again with me! haha! next fireworks display will be on the national day itself at padang(which i watched it with my dear dad..) and on the 11/8 and 12/8 at marina...fireworks here i come!!... will be back tonite...updates updates updates! ;p

..aarghhh!!!

2006-08-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

ok,i'm like bored...i have an hr to kill b4 my lecture starts at 12..2hrs of mental health lecture..i'll be mentally retarded by then!..haha.. yes,i'm doing tis in sch. ok watever..i jus had my car practical n it has been months since i went for my circuit..and GOSH! i totally suck at it now! the last time i went, i'm like so pro at all station, but today, i cant even clear my crank-course!!
wat was i thinking?? YANI!!...my TP is like the end of this month YANI!...Buck up!!..i was panicking the whole time!...haiyah! should have done my deep breathing!!...hahaha....ok lah, watever...neways, i want to watch fireworks today....but who am i going with?? haiyah...have to get 'kaki's' man!!...aiyah..see ya later tonite...;p

how's my day has been

2006-08-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

its been an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. i'm not in good terms with him. for the past week actually. i don't know wat has been happening in his life n he refuses to let me noe abt it. i'm worried. he is back to his old ways. yes. just damaging himself. i'm trying to tell myself to b strong n its gonna b alright but i'm falling apart slowly in silence. he ignores me. but ironically, i'm still loving him. but how can i love somebody, if that somebody cant learn to love himself?
i do not know how is he coping with his studies now, but i'm hoping that he is doing good. his exams is just ard the corner..let me see, in abt 2mths time??..guess so. i'll jus hope n pray that he is gonna b ok. i am WORRIED. so so worried. i've been a temperemental person for the past days too. i'm sorie to all those ppl who have been victimised by me.
i told my frens, wani n yati abt how i felt towards him in the afternoon at mac. thnks for giving me the support that i need guys. appreciate it soo much.
well, ruz's grandma was admitted to the hospital. in n out of the ICU. i really hope that both her and her grandma will b ok. i noe she will. insya'allah...
now,she has new group of frens ard her. and yeah she's spending like way a lot of time with him or them. had hardly time for me too. yeah yeah its always been abt me. watever lah. as long as she's happy. just anything that could make her happy. just wanna see her happy. its been a bad month for her. so yeah..
haiz, the two closest person in my life, ruzanna and ibrahim, is drifting away from me. far, far away from me. they are like evaporating off my life. hmmm, how i wish thy are still here in front of me, like a puddle of water..so that i could have fun playing with it. like i always do.
LIFE. ppl come and go as they like. well, just have to accept it as wat it is.

Harlow..to the ppl of the world

2006-08-07T00:45:00.000-07:00

my first ever entry!!!...... whoopieee!!! wee...we we weee...!